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On Doctoring for Doctor’s Day
A poem by Dr Brie
We lean on each other
In a silent life raft
Of support. It wasn’t always that way.
There was a time we competed-to get into school, to take the MCAT, to get into residency.
Then there was intern year, we bonded.
Everyone was still a little afraid they knew less than everyone else.
Until you realized at one point, you really didn’t know anything yet. Nor did any one.
Yes wide eyed - residency at once blew your mid, beat you down and built you up.
By the end you had some true friends.
You realized, we are in this together.
Suddenly in the washing machine of doctoring you got out “on your own” and got all mixed up again.
Nervous to make independent decisions, looking things up constantly and calling friends, teachers, mentors.
Mentors, you know who they are. The doctors that made you feel like, “Yes, that is my dream, that is who I want to be one day.”
You hung on to those ones.
One day you turn around and you realize, you don’t look things up as much anymore. You know a lot in a way that is a deep knowing, like driving home the same way every time and easily moving to miss something new in the same familiarity of the road.
You enjoy challenging cases, new people, mysteries (not like COVID), new treatments, new ways of looking at things you were taught.
You might not call your friends that often anymore, because life in medicine is busy. You don’t need to reach out all the time. When you need them, your life raft of friends, colleagues and mentors is there.
Never have we needed each other more. Never in my career in medicine have I had my heart silently break for my doctoring family day after day. I read your posts, hear your truth and echo your angst - it hurts in my heart too.
I love that we love what we do. Even if we hate parts of it. Rise up and fight back when the system tries to break you again, you are too strong for that now. Use your voice, your integrity and your intellect to ask for what you need over and over again (PPE PPE PPE).
Let’s tie our silent life rafts together, lift each other up, keep each other safe. Together yet apart. May we take a deep breath, close our eyes and hope this chapter ends really really soon.
Happy Doctor’s Day (3/30/20)